Bentleyhacker

It is unlikely that I will ever be as active here on dA as I used to be. For those of you who still want to keep in touch with me, my tumblr is where I am nowadays.

I have neglected my social obligations here, and I apologise. Upon returning from Swedish camp, I found that Tumblr was a much more distracting site than I had thought it would be. I have neglected my friends here, and I apologise again. I will try to become involved again in this site like I used to be.

Tonight I was able to witness and document a very special event- a cicada nymph molting and spreading its wings. I got a ton of pictures, and tomorrow I'll get working on putting them together into a single file to upload here.

Also, I leave for swedish camp in less than a week and I am not ready...

It has now become apparent to me that I will not be able to make this comic when my lack of ability is taken into account.
I know that I cannot get better without practice. I know I will need to work on my art to improve it to a tolerable level. But I don't want to make the creation of this comic a major learning experience. I need to learn and THEN make this. I don't want to sully this story that I'm really proud of with this mediocre art of mine.
I really just need someone to be by my side to help with the art. Someone better than me who is able to point out what I'm doing wrong and how to improve those specific points. Someone who I have no idea where to start looking for them.
I suppose I could always just make this story into a crappy little game in visual basic, with my marginally adequate programming skills. I did originally intend for this story to be a videogame, after all. It wouldn't be too hard to do.
I'm sorry for bothering you all about this. There's really not anything any of you can do, but I'm just really bothered about all of this and needed to put my feelings in words and share them.

wow. I really wanted to start working on this comic I've had in my mind for almost a week now, and every time I get my supplies ready to start on it, the feeling goes away. All will to work on it vanishes.

This has been the fastest cycle of dissapointment I've ever had. I didn't even get into the first draft before I abandoned my idea.

I feel repulsive. Is there something wrong with me? Why can I not make anything that takes more than a day's effort? Why can I only make fanart and shallow concepts?